It feels like it was practically yesterday when I made the decision to be baptized, yet so much has happened since then. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve grown a lot, and I’ve experienced more things than I could have possibly imagined.I think when I initially joined the church, I went into it with the mindset that this gospel was going to solve all my problems. I thought that because I'm a Mormon now, I wouldn’t have to hurt anymore, that my trials would all disappear. In the past year, I’ve realized that my initial expectations were far from the truth. I’ve learned that just because I’m a member of this church now, and just because I’ve gained a better understanding of this gospel, it doesn’t mean that I’m invincible. I’m still going to hurt, I’m still going to struggle, and I’m still going to experience trials.
The pain didn’t come at first. The first few months were great. I was on a spiritual high unlike anything that I had ever experienced in my life. But eventually, the high began to wear off and the pain slowly returned. However, in the past few months, I’ve learned something perhaps even greater than the lesson I learned initially. I've learned that just because I’m hurting, doesn’t mean that I’ve been abandoned. It doesn’t mean that I’m not loved. Al Fox, one of my favorite LDS speakers can be quoted, “Hard times will consistently be there. But so will Christ.” I might still hurt and struggle, but I always will have somewhere to turn when things get rough. I just have to be humble enough to admit that I need help and ask for it. I’ve learned that when I ask for help, I will receive it. Maybe not as quickly as I want to, or how I want to, but help will come eventually. Because I’ve experienced these lows, I now have a greater appreciation for spiritual highs when they come.
In the past year, I’ve learned that it’s not always going to be easy. In fact, sometimes things are going to get really difficult. But I need to hang in there. I need to keep going. In the end, the pain will all be worth it. And in the meantime, I have someone by my side to give me strength and courage, and that someone is Heavenly Father. He will always stand by me, and I am so grateful for that.
Joining this church has changed my life. It has saved my life. Although sometimes I might still seem bitter, I know that I will always be grateful for this gospel and the power that it has to heal. Everyday, I gain a better understanding of the atonement and all that it can do for me. I love this church, I love this gospel, I love our Heavenly Father.
One year down, an eternity to go!
